Did you read Suzanne’s blog post: Because God Has You? She did a great job of connecting purpose – Why am I alive? – to our need for competence by writing: God equips us when He calls us and if He has given you a child He has called you to His purposes. He has gone before you. He will come behind. He is the beginning and the end, the first and the last, and His promise is that He doesn’t leave you. He walks with us and when we seek Him, He says He will answer.
** Competence: What Do I Do Well?
Do you feel yourself surrounded by the love of God today? By His wisdom? By His compassion? His strength? His energy? His long-suffering? His answers? His forgiveness? His everything? Are you able to rest in Him and His provision?
In all God is and all He does, we have all we need. It’s true! I hope you know that! I hope you know the God of the Bible and His provisions. Let me repeat: In all God is and all He does, we have all we need.
Competence is defined by the question “What do I do well?” Notice the word “I.” Just as the other needs are personal, this one is, too. We all have the same five core needs, but how they’re met is individualized. You don’t need anybody else’s competence. You only need yours so you can fulfill your purpose.
Your children need YOU as their mom. God will equip you to raise your children and to fulfill the other purposes He has called you to. He has equipped you and He will equip you.
What do we rely on? Pinterest boards? Chat rooms? Parenting books? Conversations with friends? Facebook posts? Mom’s conferences? Of course! It’s okay to turn to these sources. If we didn’t think so, Suzanne, Lane, and I wouldn’t have acquired Hearts at Home in order to put on the conference we’re hoping you’ll attend in March. I’ve written books for parents and I will continue doing do.
Because this core need, like the others, is most authentically and permanently met by God, we need to rely on Him and learn from Him. One way we can do that is to make sure the people influencing us are being influenced by God. This was a huge and important shift I chose to make after getting to know God better and trusting Christ for my salvation. I stopped reading books from certain authors and publishers because I knew God was not their foundation. I wanted to be fed by God – directly through His Word and His presence – and indirectly through His people. Have you made a similar shift?
** Authentic Competence
As with the other core needs, relying on God is authentic and results in more permanent results. Remember, because He created us with these needs, He is best able to meet them.
Our competence should be met in God and His power, wisdom, love, and everything else. He fully equips us and He empowers us.
What’s the evidence now that God is meeting your need for competence? How does our reliance on Him show up?
* Do we pray and wait for answers?
* Do we credit God for answers and His leading?
* Do we turn to the Word of God when making decisions and solving problems?
* Do we read the Word when anxious and confused?
* Do we study the Word so we know it in times of need?
* Do we worship because we know and love God and enjoy experiencing Him as we worship?
* Do we attend classes to gain spiritual maturity?
* Do we value church and learn from our pastors?
* Do we serve others even when we’ve never done it before because we know God goes before us?
Did you think of other things that demonstrate you’re growing in your reliance on God? Can you picture yourself talking with your children about these ways God meets our need for competence? That will help them and help hold you accountable because their powers of observation are amazing, aren’t they?! How humbling when a child shouts, “Mommy, you didn’t pray yet!”
** God is Our Competence!
Exodus 14:14 is for you today – “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
And Deuteronomy 3:22 – “It is the Lord your God who fights for you.”
And, Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
When I share Philippians 4:13 with teens, I remind them that it’s not a t-shirt slogan. It’s a Bible verse. It’s true! Every word is true! Read it with your children, emphasizing each word as you do. “I can do….” “I can do….” “I can do…” “I can do all things …” (I love that word ALL!) “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Read that one again!) “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Yes, you! God knows you, loves you, and delights in your successes.)